Is your relationship making you fat?

If you are exhausted from trying everything you can think of to lose weight, it might just be your cortisol.

Cortisol levels are a normal and healthy thing for our bodies when under stress. They help us get that boost when we need it to fight off dangerous situations. A boost of cortisol is a good thing when it is used for what it was meant to be used for.

Cortisol levels that are left unchecked and raised for a long time can result in a mountain of problems. Our bodies were not made to handle high levels of cortisol for extended periods. There is a slew of health problems that goes with this. This is usually caused by staying in unhealthy circumstances or relationships for too long.

Our bodies are not made to be stuck in survival mode every single day. Sometimes, when you do become stressed and stay stressed due to an unhealthy relationship, your body suffers. And the fat that accumulates can be anything but fun to deal with!

You may have elevated cortisol levels if you struggle with several, or most of the following:

• Wired but tired
• Feeling regularly depressed
• Constant need for caffeine to get through the day
• Waking up multiple times during the night
• Brain fog that last all day
• Suddenly, having energy before bed
• Struggling all day to stay awake
• Bags under your eyes
• Sugar and salt cravings
• Excess water retention
• Excessive hair loss
• Brittle hair
• Puffy, round face
• Thyroid problems
• Getting sick way more often than usual
• Weight gain around the abdomen, but slimmer legs
• Buffalo hump or lump of fat at the bottom of your neck
• Achy joints and body
• Trouble concentrating
• Problems with memory
• Inability to regulate emotions
• Getting excessively angry over small things or very often
• Heart palpitations
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol
• Excessive hair growth on the face, chest, stomach and arms
• Problems with vision
• Constipation and or diarrhea
• Irregular or painful periods
• Profuse, sweating or heat intolerance
• Feeling more exhausted after exercise

If you have checked off a majority of that list, you may have elevated cortisol!

My blog has many pages dedicated to the different aspects of lowering cortisol. But this specific blog post is about relationships. If you have checked off most of that list, and you are in a high stress relationship, you most definitely can have too much cortisol pumping through your body. And before you start looking at exercising, supplements and diet-you need to work on yourself.

If you are having a really tough time losing weight, it is most likely your cortisol levels.

You can try and try and do everything that you used to do to lose weight or stay healthy. You will just constantly end up in the same situation of frustration. The reason for this is because you’re high cortisol levels are telling your body that there is stress. Our bodies hold onto fat during stress. It is a safety mechanism built into our bodies for our health. We store up fat for survival.

If you are in a high stress situation daily, you will also be retaining a lot of water. High cortisol levels will cause the body to swell profusely and retain water. You may feel swollen and puffy. Your clothes will be too tight. And your fingers and toes might hurt. You can try all the natural remedies to deal with water retention, but you are going to have to get that stress level under control! Things like drinking more water, watching her salt, intake and exercising, may not be enough. You will be really surprised when your stress levels go down and you lose weight effortlessly.

So let’s talk about why you need to get out of a stressful relationship first for your body to heal.

**First and foremost, if you are in a dangerous situation with a significant other, find help to get out of that situation as soon as you can.

You can try all the herbs and remedies in the world, but your body will still stay in a high cortisol state if you don’t get out of the stressful relationship. You may not even realize it when things are “good” between you and this person. But your body remembers all the stress. Just seeing them, hearing their name, or being around them, can be too much for your body to handle. In extreme cases any contact at all with this person can set your body into a high cortisol dump.

It could be a boss, a coworker, a parent, a friend, someone you regularly, see or a significant other. If there is someone in your life, that is causing you constant severe stress, they are more than likely the culprit to your body being unbalanced.

How do you get away?

Most of the time, it is not that simple. relationships take a lot of work and effort. Any relationship is complicated and full of ups and downs. A relationship that is full of trauma and stress, is a lot harder to get out of. The extreme highs and lows of a traumatic relationship can force your body into addiction. You may not even like this person, but you can’t seem to get away from them. This codependency gives that person what they need and expect from you. It also constantly supplies you with the addiction levels that your body craves.

Don’t feel bad if you can’t get away! Whatever ups and downs and twists and turns made the relationship, it’s going to take the same amount of effort to get out of it.

KNOW THYSELF

The first step to getting out of any toxic or stressful situation is to work on yourself. I know this can be hard to hear but it is true. And I am in no means saying that you are the problem. I am saying that you need extra help to heal before you can get out of the situation. You have become a completely different person than you were before the relationship started. You need healing and growth to be able to set firm, healthy boundaries.

THERAPY

Therapy is a great place to start! The therapist is trained with the language of the mind. They can help guide you through your thoughts and help you navigate where to go. Therapist are wonderful at helping you problem solve for yourself by showing you how to do it. You may feel like a jumbled confused mess but when you talk to a therapist, they can help you on tango what is going on inside.

Going to therapy and simply talking to somebody about what is going on can be a huge relief. This is already a great start to relaxing your body and decreasing your cortisol levels.

If you are too scared or nervous about going to therapy, watch YouTube videos or read books on the situation’s that you are dealing with. Anything in the right direction helps!

JUST SAY NO

Once you have gotten yourself into therapy, the next step is to start implementing healthy boundaries with everyone in your life. You can start off slow by simply just saying “no “ more often.  Try noticing the areas of your life where you say “yes” way too often. Try to start setting boundaries to avoid burn out. If you say “yes”, too often and spread yourself way too thin, your body will begin to stay in high cortisol mode.

JOURNALING

The next thing you can try is journaling. Journaling may sound like a small thing to do but it’s powerful. Simply getting everything out can help quite a bit! Venting it all out on paper instead of keeping it bottled up can be quite healing. Do it as often as you need.

LOVE YOURSELF

Another thing you need to do to start making changes to your unhealthy relationships is to start loving yourself. One of the many reasons we stay in unhealthy relationships or situations is because we are still getting some kinds of needs met by them. Once you take your power back and start living yourself, the toxic person will lose their grip on you.

How do you do this? By taking small steps. Pay attention to your thoughts and act on them. Do you ever drive by the same coffee shop everyday and wish you could stop? Do it! Stop for a few minutes, get yourself some coffee and just breathe.  Do you see people fishing at a lake and wish you could go? Go! Do you see other people with styles you like? Go get it! Start treating yourself with things that you like. Take time to get to know yourself. It doesn’t have to take more than 5 minutes. Just make yourself a priority again.

It may feel overwhelming at first. Chances are, if you’re stuck in fight or flight mode, you’ve been used to be out last. And you’ve been made to feel guilty for doing anything for yourself. It will feel nerve wracking or wrong to start doing things for yourself. But do it anyways. Keep going. Keep going until it feels natural.

WALK AWAY

The last thing you need to do is leave the people that will not respect your boundaries and respect the love you have for yourself. Walk away. Distance yourself. Don’t give them all of the energy they were so used to having from you.

These people may suddenly abandon you and that’s ok! That just means they aren’t getting what they want from you and they needed to go anyways. If the people in your life refuse to grow with you, then it’s time they go.

If you are stuck in a relationship with someone or multiple people that drain you and you can’t lose weight, it’s time to make a change. Doing the things on this list is a terrific place to start. Enjoy your new path and the rediscover the life you want to live.

I hope this read helped you and gave you some hope today. You are worth it!

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of respect and a safe place.

You are worthy of loving yourself.

Don’t just survive, start to thrive!